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Song review: “Please Dance, I have a gun! :)” by Talent Show is potentially the most fun song of the year

• In the parking lot
• At the grocery store
• At the discothèque
• At the bar
• In the kitchen
• On the floor

These are the places in which we are forcibly instructed – nay, requested – to dance by new arrivals on the music scene, Talent Show. If we do not do this – it is understood in context – we may be severely harmed. By Talent Show themselves.

If this seems like an overly aggressive way to start a party, please keep in mind that the stated purpose of this endeavor is to experience “pleasure,” “drama,” and “trauma.” The use of a firearm to achieve the condition of dancing, then, with these terms in mind, becomes an almost reasonable modus operandi. After all, one must use all tools at one’s disposal to reach the kind of life one desires.

At the same time, however, there’s a chance we don’t need to be worried about being murdered by Talent Show; it is subtly implied that this gun, rather than being loaded with life-threatening metal (which may severely damage or even destroy one’s corporeal form), is instead equipped with something less volatile:

“I’m going to shoot fun inside of everyone,” proclaims the group’s vocalist. Is the imperative, “Please dance, I have a gun,” then, an empty threat? Fun. Not bullets, we’re to understand, but instead one of the most beloved of all human emotions-cum-states-of-mind. If this is indeed the case, Talent Show’s self-proclaimed arsenal may not be something to be feared, but rather revered as revolutionary new tech, something which could change the face of parties worldwide, forever.

After all, these days – at least in the U.S.A. – dancing can be hard to initiate. If a host or their associates could simply firehose benevolent ammunition across a ballroom, we may never again have to worry that a function will turn out to be a bunch of self-identified human beings moving like immature poplar trees being swayed slightly back and forth by a light breeze – and calling it dancing. No, if Talent Show is to be believed, no longer will copious amounts of psychoactive substances be necessary for those amazing conditions in which everyone dancing is terrified that the floor is going to collapse, yet no one would dare stop, because they are filled to the brim with Fun. If the women in this band are, in a word, “for real,” the face of night life – and even white people’s weddings – may be permanently altered for the better.

And yet, to a discerning observer, this gun may not even be necessary. You see, Talent Show is equipped with more than just a groundbreaking firearm: They are armed with groove. “PD,Ihag!:)” is, from the outset, replete with that special je ne sais quois which begs the human body to move unrestrictedly: A loping bassline, Chinese-fingertrap-tight drums, a rhythmic vocal line; as the song progresses, more and more elements snap into place, the feel of the music evolving into a implicit command to dance. Electronic claps, seemingly distorted by the sheer power of their triggers, form a syncopated backbeat, and a stable background melody – possibly a sampled harmonica, to hke‘s ears’ discernment – supplies a certain cohesive yet exciting melodic glue; in and out comes and goes a tapped tambourine, a steady, tight accentuation of the other aforementioned rhythmic elements.

In spite of the forcible physicality of Talent Show’s effort, the whole production feels tasteful. Visit the band’s I*stagram and you’ll see art. Not just haphazard show posters – no – but rather carefully-, excitingly-constructed environment evincing real aesthetic knowledge.

This instinct, crossing between visual and sonic territoire,¹ results in a certain feeling of A Special Group. hke as a whole is under the impression that if Talent Show continues to actively release music, “Ween but for girls²” may end up being an actual cultural fixture. The blend of taste, danceableness, musicianship, and humor is such that this feels like A Thing. It doesn’t feel like a one-off: It reads like an opening statement.

So, fear not the Talent Show Fun Gun,³ and instead comply with their demands without fear of terminal injury. While listening to this debut single, not only does the grocery store feel like a good place to dance – it feels like only the beginning.

1. French seems the better language for talking about art, in general. Also, without checking, this reviewer is fairly certain we used the word “territory” earlier in the article, and repetition is undesirable. So, same word, different language. This seems a reasonable compromise, no? Yes, this footnote is necessary. ↩︎
2. Yes, direct quote. ↩︎
3. It strikes this reviewer as salient to mention that the abbreviation of Talent Show is the same as that of one Taylor Swift. Does this mean something? Is this initialization a clue as to the marketability of an artist’s work? ↩︎